Thursday, April 27, 2006

next year....????

At the moment I'm being paid to work part-time (16hrs/week) for church. Now I've come to recognise that 16hrs isn't very much time. It's sooooo easy to fill that time with meaningful things to do. In the autumn I will be increasing my hours (due to some more funding which we have secured), but at the moment I'm not quite sure whether it'll be just an increase in part-time hours of to full time.

I recognise that I would probably be able to fill my hours if I was full-time, but I wonder how much of that would be with meaningful stuff, and how much would just be doing stuff for the sake of doing stuff. This arguement kind of makes me think I should just opt for the increase in part-time hours. However, I'm aware that just as I've managed to work (slightly) more than 16hrs/week at the moment, surely I would end up working more than my set hours come the autumn as well. (Theres a whole other issue about whether I feel I should do some stuff voluntarily as well - just like a lot of other members of the church.)

The good thing about remaining part-time is that it gives me opportunities to pursue other things that I want to do as well - study, writing, training and tutoring stuff.

But in all of these thoughts I'm conscious of what is actually 'right' for the church and the context in which I find myself. There's a limit to what I can do working by myself - if we want to increase the amount of group work etc. then that will need more volunteers. Now while there are already some v willing volunteers helping at the mo, I'm not sure where any more will come from, or whether current volunteers would feel able to give any more of their time.

I'm also keen to make sure that whatever happens is not just about me, the youth worker, doing some crazy stuff with no accountability to the rest of the church, and no ownership held by a wider number of people within the church. I want whatever I do to fit within the vision of the church - but I'm not quite sure what this is....

I know that in this decision making process, and in the following weeks and months I need to trust God. It's just that doubts and fears can sometimes be invitiations to trust God, but at other times be signs that we're not heading in the best direction.

For the time-being at least, I think an increase in part-time hours is the way to go.

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