So some of what I've been thinking about (both on my own and with other people) can be found here.
I'm wondering if I'm feeling slightly disillusioned with church, youth work etc. I wonder if being an employed youth worker makes it more difficult to do some of the things I really believe I'm called to do - build honest, agenda-less relationships with people, love people unconditionally etc.
At our PCC meeting the other night, as well as discussing possible new colours for the ceiling of the chancel (dark red or dark green), and as well as talking about the new youth club we're starting (am enthusiastic about it somewhere within my being - just that place is struggling to show itself right now) somebody gave a rather empassioned speech about church, the way the Church (of England at least) does mission, or has done mission and evangelism type stuff over the last 20/30 years. In my mind I was comparing this expressed desire to see the Church, and the church, continue, grow, thrive etc, with the notion that in reality, the churches in the UK are dying.
In a way this is making me wonder about my future. I know that in some way I want to work actively for the Church, do facilitate people's search for meaning etc., but I just wonder how much of a future churches as we know them have.
I dunno. It's getting late. I should go to bed. I'm going to Stoke tomorrow to watch some football. Chesterfield have been knocked out of the FA Cup, and because I can't be bothered to go all the way to Bournemouth, we're gonna watch Stoke vs Walsall in teh FA Cup fourth round.....